life is like a box of SOMETHING

It's on like Billabong

Ugh. I had a fancy tutorial picked out to try in Inkscape, but I couldn't get past step one. Lame.

You know what's also lame? This thing I just made with Picnik instead for my Draw One Thing.

At least the dog is cute.

I think it's going to catch on like Billabong.

Etiquette and barbiturates

That's what the fifties makes me think of. And what makes me think of the fifties? This rad new graphic I made!

Sunburst effect thanks to the same handy tutorial, image is from the Wikimedia Commons, and font is Halo Handletter.

Now I just need something to announce

I had some difficulties with Inkscape late last night and missed another Draw One Thing day in favor of getting to sleep before 1 am. The lesson I have learned is NOT in fact--as I initially thought--to loathe Inkscape and lust after a shiny new Illustrator/Photoshop package, but to start my drawing earlier in the evening... and to save more often.

The reason for my positivity about Inkscape despite its crashing whenever I ask it to perform complex tasks like changing the fill color of an object? LOOK AT THE COOL SHIZ I JUST MADE TONIGHT.

Thanks, Inkscape. And thanks Jacob at GrimeGraphics for the sunburst tutorial, which I followed to make this reverse sunburst to imitate an effect I saw in one of those insurance commercials featuring the president guy from 24.

wuv u birdie

Welp, I missed a day of Draw One Thing last night. My first (and only) missed day. To make it up to you, here's a cute birdie.

I dreamed this little guy almost just like that yesterday. Must be the special rapport that Annapants' birds and I have had ever since I watched them while she was across the country.

Give me bacon or give me death

This post may be better viewed here.

What freaks me out the most is how REAL that bacon looks. It looks more real than any real bacon I've ever eaten. It makes me want to stick bacon to my screen to see if I can make it look as real.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, then you didn't click the link that I told you to click. You have only yourself to blame.

I really don't feel like drawing anything. Can the bacon count for my one thing? It is a visual that I produced on my blog. Please? I really don't want to be awake for another 30 minutes.

Well I just stared at my computer screen for 6 minutes thinking about how I don't want to draw for 30 minutes. I don't even know what I would draw.

I have all sorts of interesting things to say about football, but my friends tonight admitted to me that they skip all the football-related things on my blog. They had even missed some actual jokes because they had skipped over the football stuff that surrounded the funny stuff. When I asked what I should do, they said, "I really just want more drawings."

Ugh. Those ugly things?

This is how that makes me feel. Like my eyes are a glazed-over pair of Spanish olives or outward-pointing breasts.

I'm just glad I found this leftover scribble lying around in my files so I don't have to draw. And I must have been tired when I drew it because instead of "scribble" I named the file "scrobble."

Scrobble it is. There, that's about 30 minutes.

Fan-tastic day

I had a record-breaking fantastic day! If only I could say the same of my Green Bay Packers, who broke more of the wrong kinds of records, like number of penalties in a single game (17, the most for Green Bay in 35 years).

But it was a fantastic game. Nothing beats watching Aaron Rodgers complete 34 out of 45 passes and even run the ball in for a touchdown himself for the second time in as many weeks. Watching with my family, even my college-ball-fan parents were beginning to be drawn in by his superstar skill and doe eyes. Ok maybe I'm the one falling for the doe eyes. I generally prefer being impartial as it frees me up to truly enjoy the feats of athleticism and lucky breaks as they happen, but it's nice to have a stake in a game now and then.

Other things of note:

• I'm still learning expressions like "double coverage"... is that what Rodgers was throwing into when he went deep with an endzone pass where there were so many guys in red and blue jostling for it, it looked like the bouquet toss at a wedding?
• I wish we had a Devin Hester of our own to get our punt returns past the 20-yard line more often.
• Julius Peppers was like a slippery little 6-foot-7 Penalty Fairy, causing holding calls and instigating false starts like crazy. Also, Julius Peppers may be the best name ever.
• I love crazy man Clay Matthews, who looks like Thor and moves like the unholy lovechild of a rogue windmill and a caffeinated spider monkey.

Oh yeah. How could I almost forget my Draw One Thing?

Dear Draw One assignment: Today I practiced my hearts, flowers, butterflies and scrollwork, made it look like a teenage cheerleader's daydream threw up all over a favorite star athlete of mine, and made just a little bit of scary music play in your head.

Fantastic.

The Pants has returned!

Anna-Pants, the Little of Big Spoon, Little Spoon, has returned from her visit with Big back east! Lindsay and I picked her up at the airport tonight, where Lindsay pointed out that the wild salmon sculptures would be much better if they were wearing little top hats. As much as I wish I could say I had prepared salmon with hats as my Draw One Thing tonight, I have been catching up with the Pants and it is now late. You instead get a drawing I did of her weeks ago and never showed the world (because it is unfinished, as she appears to be naked).

Lazy scribbles

Somehow a wild flock of geese banging around on my roof at 5 am this morning made me dream that I drew some actual "lazy scribbles" on my blog. As in scribbles that are inherently lazy. It was a little like this:

Look at that scribble! So lazy! He is sleeping and a little drool is coming out of his mouth. This is how I picture my friend Hot Lunch at work.

Look at this jerk! He's so lazy, he's leaving his shopping cart in the parking lot where it could collide with a fellow shopper's vehicle while he gets in his unscathed minivan to drive his groceries home.

Don't even get me started on this scribble. He's playing Farmville at work. And that is definitely the worst computer screen anyone has ever drawn. It's just a gray rectangle. So lazy.

And THIS guy!

...Never mind about this guy. I'm not sure what his problem is.