Monday, October 4, 2010

Gameday Jargon Day! Patriots @ Dolphins

It's Monday night again and this time you don't want to let on that you're only watching the game to see Tom Brady of dual-model-impregnating, wet-T-shirt-wearing and baby-goat-holding Stetson ad fame. Well here's just the football phrasebook you'll need tonight to blend in with the fanatics.

You see: Miami seems to be scoring all the points, while New England can't seem to get anywhere.
You say: "Man, Miami is dominating both sides of the ball!"
Meaning Miami is excelling both at offense (moving the ball and scoring) and defense (preventing their opponent from moving the ball or scoring).

You see: Tom Brady appears unhurried and makes an excellent pass.
You say: "When you give him that kind of time in the pocket, that's what Tom Brady can do."
The pocket is the space around a quarterback that gives him the room and time he needs to pass the ball to a receiver... as long as his players are doing a good job of protecting him from getting sacked.

You see: Ronnie Brown runs the ball right through the Patriots' defense.
You say: "I don't know, seems like the Patriots' 3-4 defense would make for more flexibility in the blitz package."
I'm not quite sure what this means, but doesn't it sound AWESOME?

As always, head off pesky follow-up questions and comments with offers of more guacamole dip.

(P.S. Don't forget to always pronounce "defense" as "DEE-fence.")

2 comments:

  1. first of all, i just googled tom brady and DAMN! da-amn. now i see why you like watching the man run around in tight pants. and secondly, have you noticed that somehow, when not being shouted at a tv with nachos in hand, all your phrases sound like double entendres?

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  2. wow. you are SO totally right! i mean, i always snicker when announcers make comments about getting penetration, but i still didn't notice that ALL of today's jargon is sexual!

    it's gotta be the wet t-shirt.

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